Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
