I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
