I'm really into asian looking animals
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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