Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
