I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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