In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
