You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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