we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
