You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
