Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
