You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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