Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
