I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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