I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
