my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
