What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
