it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
