It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
