i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
