Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
