oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
