I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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