Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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