They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
