return my video game
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
