my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
