Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
