Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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