Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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