If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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