bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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