Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize