After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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