just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I don't think brook has ever known best
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
