I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
