saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
