Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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