opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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