Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
