She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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