i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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