His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
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In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
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Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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