It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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