Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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