So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
