Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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