I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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