Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
