I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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