there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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