If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
