Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
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It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
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I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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