Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
