and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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