just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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