I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
