My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize