Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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