It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish i was in the wii world.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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